“Always a bridesmaid, never the bride”. This has been my friends’ tag for me lately. Quite true, because believe it or not, I’ve been a bridesmaid for a whopping total of 14 TIMES. Yes, I have already worn 14 different bridesmaid dresses. There’s only halfway to go and I’d be like Katherine Heigl in the movie “27 Dresses”. Except that she’s more beautiful. LOL.
After all the weddings I have attended, I’ve come to ask myself, am I really the perfect kind of bridesmaid? Or am I just after the dresses? I actually took a moment to mull over the answer to that question. If you’re about to be a bridesmaid for the first time or maybe the nth time, like me, what role are we actually playing in the bride’s world? How do we become more than just a party in the entourage, but the perfect bridesmaid a stunning bride could ever ask for?
1. Say “Thank You” the moment you receive the proposal.
I have never been a bride but a lot of my friends who’ve been married told me that they’d appreciate a sincere “thank you” from their bridesmaids. It is not easy to pick who the bridesmaid will be. Think of it this way, she has plenty of friends to choose from, so consider yourself blessed if she’ll pick you. It just means that you are important to her and she wants you to be beside her on the most awaited day of her life, a simple but sincere “thank you” is more than enough!
2. Have your dress measured or fit if she says so.
Whether she’s the bridezilla type or not, you must follow any instruction from her. One of the many things that we want to avoid during her wedding prep is to add to her stressors. So, don’t be stubborn. If you’re really busy, then find time to do so or look for a way that suits your busy schedule. You can ask or search the couture’s number, send your measurement, and fit the dress later on. Bottom-line is you have to look for ways! You are to assist the bride, not the other way around.
3. Be present at the rehearsal.
What every bride wants is the best and perfect wedding. It is not a loss on your part if you will give it to her once in her life! Be the best friend she can have. Support her even in little ways like this, unless of course, it’s a matter of life and death.
4. Do not complain.
If the dress is not flattering to your body type or the color isn’t your favorite, the moment you agreed to be her bridesmaid you already said yes to wear her bridesmaid dress of choice. It is your mandatory duty to wear it and please wear it with a smile and happy heart. I tell you it’s hard to look for dresses that suit 3, 5, or 8 body types. This day isn’t about you after all but about a friend who will marry the love of her life. So, do it for her! If you’re “confidently beautiful with a heart”, you’ll be able to rock any outfit anyway and still look stunning.
5. Be an outlet.
After all the wedding preparations and the wedding jitters, she needs a true friend who will be there for her all the way. If you think being a bridesmaid is difficult then at least look at it from her perspective, you do not know what she’s going through. She may be very excited or anxious, she’s the only one who knows it. A text or call to ask how she is, is already a de-stressor. We might not know if she has a last-minute task and you’re the saving grace. If it’s not too much to ask, tell her you can’t wait to see how pretty she will be as she walks down the aisle towards the man of her dreams.
6. Prepare for the best or worst (call-time is non-negotiable)
Don’t be a prima donna. Be at the site for make- up and doll-up on or before call-time. What she needs at this time is the most understanding friend who is present both physically & emotionally for her. Always keep in mind that she chose you to be her bridesmaid because aside that she adores you, you also have qualities to offer that she might need from time to time on this day. Remember this day isn’t about you but about her, so don’t be a headache. There is a timeline to follow, be obedient. If you have problems, your dress won’t fit, etc. tell the coordinator or the wedding crew and NOT the bride!
7. Assist the bride and enjoy the party.
We do not know what will happen or what to expect but it is your initiative to make the party lively. Participate when needed and at the same time be sensitive about the needs of the bride. This is a moment that she will remember for the rest of her life, you can make the even more memorable in your own little ways. I am sure she’ll do the same for you on your wedding day.
8. Call her by her new name.
Right after the wedding or on the first morning after the wedding. Send greetings in her new name. A simple gesture of sending a text message “Hi, Mrs. _______!” will surely make her heart flutter.
What do you think? Am I already the world’s perfect bridesmaid? LOL… Well, there isn’t actually such a thing as a “perfect” bridesmaid so to speak, but even if we can’t be the perfect bridesmaid, let’s just make sure to be there for them all the way. Apparently, they will remember it for keeps. We may not be the perfect, but most definitely we can be the best bridesmaid they can ever have.
Pics are taken by One Happy story at the Bunayog-Demetrio wedding last July 29, 2017 at Limketkai Luxxe Hotel, CDO.
Photo: One Happy Story
Stylist: Kevin Abdala
HMUA: Frank Tongco
Coordinator: Hope Marquez Coordination
Gowns: Camerons by Alma Mae Roa